But yesterday I read this post and subscribed to Flylady, with intentions of getting my house in order (it's pretty clean, but disorganized. We still haven't unpacked entirely from our move in January). Flylady's first babystep for beginners was to shine your sink, the object being to give yourself something to be proud of, something tangible to accomplish, even if it seems silly to shine your sink when piles of laundry threaten to take over your house.
And thus, this morning, in what seems to be the beginning of my next manic phase (more on that in minute), I cleaned my sink. And some kitchen shelves. And mopped the floor. Hey, I was on a roll and wasn't about to stop!
So here's a pic...consider yourself flashed!
(this was also my first opportunity to show off my decole pear bank bought here-my kitchen theme is pears)
Ok, about this manic episode thing...many of you know I suffer from depression. I have on and off for years, including panic attacks and a case of severe post-partum depression that ended up with me spending a week in the hospital. Recently I've been having some very difficult weeks of insomnia, appetite swings, and worst of all, severe anger and irritability. I've been doing a lot of research and am fairly certain I have a version of manic-depressive (also known as bipolar) disorder (one involving manic episodes which are dysphoric, meaning anger-based, rather than the traditional euphoric, which are described as high phases), which I'm going to be seeing my physician about tomorrow. Last night I was up until after midnight, took some Tylenol PM and only slept until 4:45 am, at which point I was wide awake and have been ever since. When I don't sleep, I don't feel tired. When I do sleep, I'm exhausted all day and have to nap when the munchkin does. These swings are difficult, but not yet debilitating. So my blogging (and my crafting) will be sporadic at best until I get some better meds and add some counseling.
Some in the blogoshere would feel that this sort of posting is too personal (we've gone into this before). But I feel the topic of mental illness has been hidden for far too long. Brooke Shields has led the way to opening discussion about depression. This blogger has been instrumental in discussing the topic of motherhood and depression. Depression, bipolar, etc. are all valid, real, physical ailments. I have a close friend suffering from Bipolar II who was once asked when he was going to be "over it". I'm trying to do my part to educate the masses, so to speak, and I can't do that if I hide who I am from those I know. So thank you for keeping up with me. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. The stigma surrounding these illnesses has kept too many people from the care they deserve.